Changes

I am sitting in room 169. The walls are bare. I took down all the decorations that I had so carefully and thoughtfully put up 10 months ago. My stuff is all boxed up and waiting by the door for Mr. Jennings to load (they are very heavy).

And I am real sad.

I feel like a big part of my chest is being yanked out when I think about my 30 little guys coming tomorrow and giving me one last hug goodbye. It may seem dramatic, but I never knew how much I would love these guys.

When I started teaching in August I was ready for a new adventure, a distraction, so I could focus on that for a while. I was excited about interacting with my 7 year olds. But I never knew how much they would change me. This has been a life changing experience. I am better because I saw them and talked with them every day. They are my best friends. They make me laugh. They make me cry. But mostly laugh.

So forgive me if it hurts my heart a little.

I told them yesterday that I won't be returning next year. One of my boy's little sisters ran up to me at lunch today and asked me if I could move in the middle of next year instead of before school starts because "she just wants a chance to have me as a teacher". This is the same girl that walked with me during the whole walkathon and told me that I am her favorite singer because she has heard me sing before and it is the best she has ever heard. I love these kids. It has been a year and a class I will never forget.

In August I thought that the first day of school was going to be the hardest, scariest day of my life. I didn't realize then that the last day would be so much worse.